I swear, the next IM guy who does this to me is getting a serious can of whoop-ass.

I got an email today with this in the Subject: line —

Bill, your request has been approved

Seriously? Yipee! I have been SO WAITING for you to approve my request! I am SO GLAD you finally approved it.

Oh. What? I didn't request anything?

Right!

What a crock of shit. C'mon guys, do you really think I'm going to take any of these shenanigans seriously?

Here's the deal, next time you do this:

• I immediately unsubscribe. Screw you. I don't need your BS. I know, big threat from me, right?
• I file a complaint with the CAN-SPAM folks.
• I call you out, online. I post all over my sites, Facebook, Twitter, the works. Don't be an ass.

Seriously, if you really have to resort to out-and-out lies in your emails, you really aren't offering any compelling products or services, are you?

I get catchy headlines and subjects in emails. I really do. I even find them funny:

Buy My Product Now or Your Penis Will Fall Off

That's funny. It's also so over-the-top that nobody would really believe it. In fact, most people would find it funny. Except, I suppose, those folks whose penis actually fell off because they didn't buy your — ahem! — inflated product.

But to put in your email subject line a phrase like that above, which is plausible but done only to deceive, is just crap.

Nobody likes it. We all get too many emails from too many marketers. The good ones don't have to resort to this trickery. The bad ones do.

You know who you are. You have been warned.