I write articles. Many bloggers and internet marketers do. There really are a few reasons for doing so.

1. It keeps our writing skills sharp
2. We get backlinks
3. Other website owners can pick up our articles and put them on their sites.

All in all, a pretty cool deal.

Everybody uses Ezinearticles.com, too. They're the "big boys" in the Article Directory world. Think "Google" or "800 Pound Gorilla." That kind of big, relatively speaking.

They got big in large part because they control the quality of the articles they publish. I can write an article for GoArticles.com, for example, and — BAM! — it's live. It could be full of misspellings, grammatical errors, factual errors — Nobody cares there.

However, not so at EZA. It still takes them a freaking week to review my submission (I'm too cheap to buy my way in via their "Premium" service), only to have one of their reviewers come back at me with something along the lines of, "Your article is great. There's only one teeny tiny problem."

Great. Here it comes.

And that's exactly how it went down today.

I got a note from somebody at EZA requesting that I fill out one of their forms "because there was something wrong with my submission." Note that they didn't have any issue number or reference identifier at all in their email to me.

So I filled out the form. The funniest part about it was they actually asked me why I was filling out the form! My reply:

Because you asked me to.

Silly rabbits.

So I waited.

And waited.

I waited some more.

Finally, I sent them another note. This is what happened (see the screenshot  where hilarity ensued).

Here's a copy of the exchange (follow along if you're easily amused like I am — otherwise, move along, there's nothing to see here). Note that I put in bold those parts I thought were especially funny. I fully expect to be banned from EZA before the day is over.

Except that they probably won't get to it until I don't care any more.

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Hi Bill,

Thank you for your emails.

Please refrain from sending multiple emails regarding the same issue. We will get to your email as soon as we are able to.

Your article "How to Set Up an Autoresponder" has been placed in
problem status due to the link:

http://www.internet-marketing-muscle.com/

This is problematic as the page contains information on SEnuke, which we are not able to accept. We recommend editing the page to remove this content or linking to another site you have a vested interest in.

Thank you,

(Name withheld to protect the uninitiated)

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My reply:

Seriously? What if I said something bad about SEnuke? Just because there is a mention of it makes it a bad page?

I'm not changing my page to accommodate EZA's ridiculous policies. Sorry. No can do.

Next thing you know, my page on President Obama gets flagged, too, because somebody at EZA gets his tighty whities in a bunch. Sheesh. You guys are ridiculous!

Bill

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Now, I could have just sucked it up; after all, I shouldn't really mess with 800 pound gorillas. But I'm an idiot.

After careful consideration, I attempted to circumvent their recommendation (sort of) and put in a link to a "special" page just for visitors who got to my page through their site.

I am not going to change my website just to accommodate their "standards." I have my own. I don't need them. They certainly don't need me.

If we can cooperate, fine. All the better. But I'm not compromising my standards to suit theirs. They can piss up a rope for all I care!